A Learning Process

"You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. 

Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. 

Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. 

Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. 

March to the beat of your own drummer. 

And stubbornly refuse to fit in.” 

-Mindy Hale

It has been a while since I have posted....a long while. Life has once again gotten the best of me. I apologize to the few loyal readers I have left, for such a long absence from this blog. I am still in a learning process of finding happiness, and discovering the best person I can be.

Life for the most part has been good. Albeit, there is still more things I need to do to find that moment of Zen..when my life can truly be defined as "great". But I have felt happier and more at peace with myself then any other point over the past few years. I have a good job, and a set of co-workers who are supportive and quickly becoming friends. My circle of friends has gotten smaller over the past couple of years, but it also has become more reliable. I have people in my life who love and support me, even if we go a few weeks without seeing each other. I no longer feel so bad for the person I am, or the flaws and scars that I carry. I no longer keep people in my life, who make me feel bad for who I am. 

While I still deal with loneliness and miss companionship from time to time, I am finding myself more content with the life that I am living. I have a home that I love, and neighbors who stop to say "hello" while looking out for each other. I find my weekends filled with sports, activities, and a lot of laughter. I think about my past less each day, and look forward to the future more.

Coming back home to Cleveland was the best choice I could have made for myself. I let my heart guide me, and did what was best for me. I am still trying to learn to apologize a lot less, and embrace the fact that I am imperfect. While I still wish to find love someday, I beat myself up a lot less about the fact that I have not found the "one". Quiet evenings at home, small gatherings with friends, and the love of pets have replaced my need to for a Friday night date. 

Life is a constant learning process. We make mistakes, and hopefully we chose to learn from them. Life is a journey and as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually we will make progress. Admittedly, I have fallen and stumbled quite a bit, but I feel more surer of myself each day.

Someday, I hope to look back and say, "You did good." I really do hope that the choices I am making now for myself, will lead to those great days ahead. I have learn to have faith in myself, as much as I faith in life and the powers that be.