Sweetness of Friendship

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." -Kahlil Gibran

This time of year is always tough for single people. First we have the Christmas holidays were we are bombarded by questions from relatives at dinners about our single status, inundated with cheesy jewelry commercials, and forgotten by our married friends who have special evenings planned with spouses. Then we head into New Years where we find ourselves alone at midnight with no kiss and finally Valentine's Day where the world treats us like we have leprosy.

Needless to say, it is the time of year that I dread. While I wish to find love, it is not so much the lack of love that is hard to bear. It is the idea, that we still live in a world where the idea of a single woman falls into two categories: the woman who become cat ladies and the spurned bitter women who fucked up their chance at love. I find myself at times torn between the adulation of being single and the pitying looks of people who can't quite figure out why I am alone.

This year, I expected to spend Valentine's alone. Sipping wine and watching a marathon of Downton Abbey. Instead, I found out that not only did other friends detest the holiday, but actually wanted to do something not focused on the commercial aspect of the holiday.

So for the first time ever, I hosted a dinner consisting of myself, another single girlfriend, and my married friends from college. I cooked dinner, my friends brought dessert, and we drank wine. And it was one of the moments, where I just wished I could bottle the moment. I stood in the kitchen washing dishes with the sound of laughter trinkling from the other room, and found myself thanking God with tears in my eyes for such good friends.

You see, my friends have kept me sane. They bring me back from the brink, and remind me daily that while I have not yet found love, I am capable of loving. Despite what has happened in the past, I would not trade that
night or the friends in my life for anything. I would trade any man in the world, for what I was feeling in that moment.....unconditional love.

How many of us wait a life time for it? How many of us spend too many wasted years searching for it, and not realizing that the love we are looking for is already present in our lives?

I am trying harder in my life to savor the sweetness of friendship, and to find contentment in the hours spent with friends. To look forward to conversations about crazy family members over beer, or the joy of trying out a new recipe for friends coming over for dinner.

"Close friends contribute to our personal growth. They also contribute to our personal pleasure, making the music sound sweeter, the wine taste richer, the laughter ring louder because they are there." -Judith Voirst