Burnout

Stress is a common theme in every adult's life. Commitments to family, deadlines at work, bills to pay, and other various threads seem to pull us in a thousand different directions. I feel as though I have been burning the candle at both ends for far too long. I find myself tired, all the time, and I still have to schedule in sleep against the million other things I need to accomplish. 

Is there a point, where you go beyond burnout? Most people maintain stress levels by scheduling in date nights, workouts, vacations, etc. to keep from feeling the burnout. I find myself in a situation where burnout is part of my life, because financial resources do not allow me the ability to schedule those things in. I don't have time, and I certainly don't have the money, to do things for myself. There is always work. There is always school.  There is always something else that demands my time and attention. Lately, it has been family stuff. 

My sister, who never cared for my opinion anyways, is dating a man, who for very similar reasons behaves like the ex who hurt me so bad. It is hard to say nothing, when deep down you want to shake her awake, and punch him in the face. But having gone down that road myself, I know that the only thing I can do is say nothing. She has to figure it out herself. She has find her own breaking point, where enough becomes enough. Even if it hurts to watch her go through it. 

I keep telling myself in a couple of weeks, when this major assignment has been turned in, and I have gotten yet another prep in hand, I can take some time for myself. Begin training again....spend time getting my body back in shape. Find a way to eat healthy on a dime. Go for a walk. Read that book that has been on my shelf for weeks. Go out with friends.

I keep telling myself that burnout is not permanent. That somehow and someday, things will work out. I will have the job security I crave. My degree in hand. Financial stability. Someday, I will get take that vacation, that everyone always talks about, but that I have not been on in over 12 years. 

Someday. In the meantime, it's time for another cup of coffee.